west highland way race

it's time for some honesty folks. i'm a bit rubbish when it comes to sticking to a plan. i'd hoped that setting goals so high, i could change a habit of a life time. i'm not just talking about running here but life in general. for me this 'race' was more about the challenge of preparation, remaining focused and motivated. obviously i failed massively in this respect. so plan b was actioned, race as road trip and have a laugh along the way.

like all good road trips, it starts with cramming the car full lucozade, jelly babies and proclaimers cd's. to scotland! and the small matter of a 95mile running race...

for the purpose of this post, 'jaki' is in reference to jane and vikki. possibly the best support team a trainer wearing shuffler can have....except that time in tyndrum but we'll discuss that later. also, the word 'running' can be frequently substituted for, shuffling, hobbling, walking, standing still and sniffling and hyperventilating.

chatting to others on the start line, i was nervously trying to find people to stick with, who's pace wouldn't rip my legs off after 20miles. i got talking to an american woman. she was aiming for a sub 19 hour, i edged away from her. not before asking what the ultra scene was like in the states. she explained that's it's much more popular but the problem's that more people enter without having done the right training are trying to get to 'just get round', rather than actually race. yeh, i also hate that attitude, i slipped away, heading to the back of the pack.

01:00 and we're off. dodging revellers in the street and heading to the twisty singletrack of mugdock country park. the soundtrack of nervous chatter and garmin beeps punctuate the night silence. but by the time i reach jaki, 13m in, the field has already spread out.

my pace is a plod but i'm actually enjoying the feeling of freedom that night running gives. the sky is so clear that i switch the head torch off. running towards conic hill with the sun rising behind me, this is it, this is why.

the ground is hard and dry, making an easy descent. into balmaha, 20m, and jaki is there waiting. i'm packed off with encouragement and stale marmite sandwiches. some more running. the water is still on the loch side and it's already starting to warm up. my only thought is to get to tyndrum (the finish of the fling) and still be able to move.

next stop, rowardennan, 27m. the car park is full of sleep deprived support crews. despite the heat everyone is wearing full body cover and midge nets. everyone looks the same and i can't see jaki. thankfully jane emerges from a cloud of midges and directs me to our pit stop. sat down, my shoes are changed and legs covered in deet, i'm not quite sure who was doing what but i was very grateful. some muesli shoveled down and i'm sent on my way.

along the loch side, nemisis country. head down, keep on moving, don't think about speed or distance. i don't even look at the view, i've seen it before. it's lovely and remains so for a very long time. at inversnaid, 35m, i've a drop bag waiting. again, it's contents are uninspiring. oh, more lucazade and some jelly babies.

on my own i plug in the headphones and let the tunes carry me forward. a combination of early nineties rave, dolly parton and some dodgy 'rockapella' sees the loch soon disappear. jaki are waiting for me at beinglass, 41m, and i can't wait to see a friendly face. so far it's felt like a very lonely race.

another change of shoes, application of suncream and pot noodle inhaling. but all i want was some plan water. apparently i hadn't put that on my spreadsheet. i was also told i was well behind the 24hr schedule. despite looking forward to seeing jaki, i left feeling pretty fed up. i managed to work myself up into a bit of state. shuffling along i was blaming jaki for everything.

i then had a thought. maybe i should try actually running rather than this shuffling i'd been doing. my next revelation was that if i could keep this up i could get back on schedule. feeling better and wanting to share the news i called jaki. jane answered, listened to me rambling on. she said 'yes', 'keep it up' in all the right places. little did i know that i'd just woken them both up. if i had, i think that might have made me feel even better!

by auchentyre, 50m, i'd made some time up and the mountain views were starting to fuel me again. jaki directed me to the official weigh-in. all ok. a jacket potatoe donated by some lovely marshals was a welcome respite from the sugary treats. not wanting to waste time i pushed on, knowing that i'd be seeing jaki again in just another 3m.

the potatoe must have been laced with EPO or speed. i arrived at the point of bag exchange and planned pot noodle consumption, only jaki wasn't there. i plodded on whilst making a few phone calls. soon jane comes running up the trail with my bag and a pot noodle in the other hand. no real time lost but jaki have slight indigestion.

this next section is surrounded by munros, all tempting you to higher places. ignoring the hills and keeping my eyes on the trail stretched out before me, on i plod. suddenly i need to stop, my bowels are making a protest. there's not much cover on this stretch, so i just pull off the trail slightly. squatting down i realise that i've no toilet paper, not even a buff. what i would have given for a lost glove! i start to shuffle on but just out of curiosity look down. now, i see a lot of poo in my line of work but i have never seen a poo so black. amazed and slightly horrified i managed to resist the urge to pick it up in a sandwich bag just so i could show jaki. i think i might have been quiet tired at this point.

i hobbled into the bridge of orchy, 60m. from here onwards jaki would also be sherpa as well as roadside support. first up was vikki, leading the way over the hill to inveroran. the views across to loch tulla were stunning and hopefully making up for my lack conversation. ensuring that i kept moving and drinking vikki did a brilliant job.

down into inveroran, 62m, and jane was lycr'd up and ready. full of pace stats and schedules initially we made good progress. jane explained that if i could keep up this pace (a pitiful 13.5 minuet mile) i'd be on for a sub 25hr.

rannoch moor is a beautifully wild and desolate place. i might not have looked like it but i was pleased to be there, more so that i was getting to share this moment with my girlfriend. then something happened, something changed. i slowed right down, i was struggling to breath and felt like i'd been punched in the back. from here onwards nothing could shake me out of this state. i think i knew then that my race was over.

eventually we made it to the glencoe checkpoint, 70m. vikki was waiting to go and prepared comedy protein snacks for me. i sat in the car, had a little weep and then retired from the race. i'd been on the go for 18 and half hours, anti climax is an understatement.

jaki continued with their thankless task and took me to the hotel in fort william. jane came to collect me from the car. "good news and bad news," she said, "we're checked in, the room's on the third floor", she pause, trying not to laugh, "but there's no lift." apparently i also cried at this point.

after a shower, a slice of pizza the race dissection began. jane and vikki were brilliant. even more so that they both still agreed to support me knowing full well that my training has been, erm... 'unconventional'. so what has this experiment proved? that with a great support crew and a lot of stupidity you can wing 70m, anything more requires real dedication and training. i am in awe of all of those who have completed this race.

the drive home was full of laughter and smiles. that's the mark of a truly brilliant support crew. despite the dnf i had a lovely weekend away and maybe, just maybe i might have learned something....