14 June 2010

i actually shat myself today

i was left on my own this weekend. jane was off doing the lamm with jo (who i met at the hpm). i was to stay at home, rest and prepare for 'the race that dare not speak its name'. they were running in c class and by all accounts had a fabulous weekend, with 3 munros and just a few midge bites.

i've been in bed since saturday night with gut ache and explosive diarrhea. i'm starting to feel much better today, and have even managed an oat cake, half a bowl of soup and a bottle of nuun.

i was in the toilet earlier and thought i'd 'finished'. stood up and to my surprise, my ass wasn't at all finished. and to make things worse i then put my foot in it. at least we have a tiled floor.

22 comments:

Pedalling Polarcherry said...

god smacked and laughing all at the same time :)

jumbly said...

Thank-you for sharing every delightful detail. I'm really looking forward to spending 72 hours in very close proximity to you later in the week.

Julbags said...

Oh no! If it makes you feel slightly better I was reading that whilst taking a drink of (luckily) water, nearly choked laughing and it's come out my nose...I'm at work being stared at now.

trio said...

There is such a thing as sharing too much you know? This may earn you a new name...

allybea said...

The honesty is just brilliant! Literally toilet humour at its best. Lol!

Hope you feel better by Friday

Ali x

SS:Mtn Biker said...

Awwww....come on now people! The reason we all find this so funny is that it's happened to each one of us one time or other =P.

LOL (really hard,BTW),I hope you get to feeling better really soon =)

Steve

trio said...

It's common for things like this to happen in a taper. Your body gets ill, you feel lots of aches and pains. It's a good thing as the body is then recovered for the event that we don't talk about.

Jo said...

at least you weren't at work. and once it was over, and you'd walked back to your desk, wondered a little later what the smell was. and realised you'd brought a little present for the rest of the office out on your trousers.

not that that's ever happened to me.

Jase said...

sounds like norovirus. I had a bit of that the other week. I was putting HTN flyers on cars up at Lee Quarry, feeling rough. I pumped and followed through a little bit.
Good job the car's got leather seats.

The German said...

Kate ...was checking up to see if you had been silly and tried to squeeze in that extra bit of training that is the LAMM ...but think I jist pished maself laughing - THANK YOU !

See you in Milngavie on Friday evening at some point !

Cheers
Graham K

kate said...

ppc- thanks for your sympathy ;)

jumbly- bring bog roll. a lot of it.

julbags- glad to be of service!

trio- jane has already given me several new names. in fact there appears to be endless variations of my surname and shitter!

ali- thanks ali. right now i seem to be doing the opposite of carb loading!!

ss- come on share ;)

jo- brilliant! that has made my day. i would imagine that person would have to get another job!

jase- this is brilliant. thanks for sharing. the thing is i love a good trump but can't due to absolute fear of the follow through.

graham- yup, no running. just shitting. see you friday :)

Debbie Martin-Consani said...

Blogging it like group therapy! Thanks for sharing. Hope you feel better soon.

Wee Joe said...

I am just glad you never included photos of the mishap.

vdubber67 said...

Classy...

;)

GaryUFM said...

Absolutely speechless! And from the comments, it appears that cacking yourself is the new black. We'll all be doing it soon.

Blinding post. Admire your honesty. You weirdo! ;)

Hope you're all fixed for WHW. You've been planning this for ages now. Just need to follow through...

kate said...

debbie- i bet you've got some 'stories' ;)

wee joe- i've been censored!

vdubber- you can tell you live the other side of town ;)

gary- very funny. i'll be in touch post whw for some advice on how to actually train for stuff, thank you :)

Joe Newton said...

"The race that dares not speak it's name? Do you mean the Wes... LA LA LA LA LA I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOU! I HAVE MY FINGERS IN MY EARS! LA LA LA LA... thhhpb... uh oh..."

I have rarely laughed so much at a blog post than this. Thank you, thank you, thank you Kate, and have a great weekend.

Pedalling Polarcherry said...

good luck for this weekend x

lowey said...

OK, I lol'ed, a lot.

Hope your feeling better.

ultra collie said...

i suddenly feel all bilious
you and charlie would make a great pairing!

Groover said...

And AMR always tells me off for being too "graphic". LOL

Hope you are feeling better by now!

sbrt said...

Hope you have got over the whirlysquits. Good training if you want to go into geriatric nursing.